This playbook is a bit different. It's a response to a msg I (Navid) got from Sigil (TKS Toronto 2020). I don't address everything in the msg intentionally, instead I'm commenting on the root cause.
Sigil's msg:
Below is my response:
What I liked about your msg:
You have ideas and suggestions. It’s not just bringing up problems/gaps. Example: “In the tks.life dashboard, add additional specific milestones, build your website, send out a (insert month here) newsletter. Launch weekly challenges (do 5 braindates with other cities), write an article on the mindset of the week.” --> That is actionable, which shows you’re thinking about problem solving, not just complaining. That’s an important trait. Keep thinking of solutions whenever you see problems.
My take on the underlying theme:
The more we do in TKS, the more hand-holding it becomes. When you look at Ananya, Jay, Ben, Brianna, Liam, Izzy, Shagun, whoever you want - they didn’t have this level of prescription. The more prescriptive TKS becomes, the less people think for themselves. My philosophy is to provide people with resources and guidance, then help them understand why it’s important. After that, it’s on them.
Even if you crush it in TKS, that doesn’t mean you’re going to be successful in the real world. There’s a much higher probability that you will. But if you didn't, it’s because you’re checking all the boxes (like you mentioned). It’s not about checking boxes. It’s not about motivation. It’s not about hand-holding.
At the end of the day, if people are smart they will try to understand. Doing things for the sake of it is stupid. But also making assumptions based on limited data is stupid. It’s about understanding why. Everything we do in TKS is important. Everything. If someone thinks newsletters aren’t important, they don’t understand them. If someone thinks braindates, daily updates, explores, focuses, or giving feedback isn’t important, they don’t understand.
I can’t force people to understand, and if I did, then I’m not helping them train the mindset of understanding. I’m just hand-holding. You’re not going to do anything significant in life if you always need hand-holding.
This is why training the mindsets is the foundation of TKS. If you think differently, seek to understand, are curious, anti-sheep, and think from first principles, you will figure out how to leverage the resources in TKS to help you. But, if you’re lazy then you will look at others and try to mimic them. You will need prescriptions, checkboxes, and a “what do I do next?” mentality - always looking at someone else to give you the answer.
To answer your first question: “How do you get people who are really invested in their own communities and care what others think, to do well in/ gain the most from TKS?” --> I expose them to the right mindsets. But after that, it’s on them. You are the CEO of your own life, not me. I can’t force you to be a different person. People need to come to realizations themselves. That is part of the journey. The ones that do will thrive. The people who change, grow, adapt, and compound are the ones that will reach the “top”, they will be “successful”. I put those words in quotes because they will define what that means to them. Maybe it’s impacting billions, maybe it’s creating new technology to advance humanity, maybe it’s finding inner peace and harmony, maybe it’s being happy and fulfilled with themselves - they will decide. Not me. Not a book. Not society.
At the end of the day, people need to be their own person. I am my own person. I seek knowledge and wisdom because I value those things. I don’t seek quick answers - I seek understanding.
The purpose of TKS is to help you develop a strong foundation. It is the beginning of your journeys. If you understand the guidance, intention, and lessons in TKS, you will build a permanent strong foundation. But if you look at TKS as a checklist or the answer sheet, then you will not understand and you won’t have a strong foundation.
This is why internships and speaking opportunities are not success. They are valuable experiences. This post made me think more about what success means in TKS, and I think I’d boil it down to one word - understanding.Â
Understanding yourself.
Understanding the world.
During TKS, if you understand the various components like the mindsets, the intention behind focuses, working with others, overcoming your insecurities and fears, then you will have succeeded in TKS. That’s because you will have built a strong foundation for you to materialize your true potential. You have time and your journey is just beginning. The end goal is not tangible results, but rather developing:
- self-understanding
- your mind
- your knowledge
- your friendships and networks
- your skills
How you measure that is up to you, because if it wasn’t then you’d be benchmarking yourself on someone else’s metrics of success and you wouldn’t understand why you’re doing it. If you understood, then you’d be able to create those metrics for yourself and know if you’re on the right path. When you're stuck or confused, seek guidance. That's why you have directors and mentors. We're here to help.
The people who leave TKS understanding are the ones who have succeeded. They are the ones who got the most from the program. TKS Alumni have developed understanding as time passes. Many send me msgs/emails about “ah-ha!” moments they’ve had - that is success.
An analogy I use is baking soda and vinegar.
During TKS, you’re getting a ton of baking soda. But, baking soda alone doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t feel like anything. You don’t see a reaction until you mix it with vinegar. Vinegar is your experiences. Throughout life, you will get vinegar. You can’t rush the gathering of vinegar - you can pursue it, but you can’t rush it.
If you’ve built up a ton of baking soda, then as you get vinegar you’ll see more and more reactions. These reactions are your “ah-ha!” moments. It’s when things will click and you will have realizations, ideas, and epiphanies. But, without baking soda the vinegar will do nothing; and without vinegar, the baking soda is useless.
So what does this mean?
- Seek understanding. True understanding. This is up to you to learn and figure out. I can’t give you a playbook for this, because that would defeat the purpose.
- Get as much baking soda as you can while you’re young. That way, when you start getting vinegar (i.e. your life experiences) you’ll have more reactions. The value of those experiences will be significantly higher. (Side note: this is likely why Nadeem and I were so impacted by our experiences in Bangladesh, Tajikistan, Kenya, etc. when others who have visited the same places do less with their lives.).
- Seek unique experiences. Don’t be complacent with your life. Each new experience will react with your baking soda and help you understand yourself and understand the world.
You do you. And I hope TKS helps you understand how to do you better.
- Navid